For the past couple of weeks I have read many articles about relationships, not just relationships in general but relationships in the African-American community. We are not lasting and there has to be some specific reason(s) as to why!But what are they?
Within every relationship, whether it is friendship…family… or lovers there will be battles… there will be disagreements…and there will be times when you just don’t know what’s going on… LIFE!
How much, or what, are you willing to compromise in relationships?
This is just my personal opinion but every (type of) relationship needs compromise from BOTH ends. I have watched relationships from family and friends and it seems that most arguments stem from relationships not being able to put ones selfishness aside and come to a mutual consensus or not allowing themselves to forfeit their personal wants or needs for their partner (every once in a while).
I hate when I hear people saying, “Well I don’t like to do that!” ok understandable but if you love your partner… shouldn’t you take the time out to like what they love? I am sure it will not hurt to take an hour or two to go see a play, visit the museum, or watch a game on TV. You should feel honored; privileged that they want YOU to share those things with.
I have always been the one who compromised in my relationships. There were plenty things that I did with my significant others that I couldn’t stand(!), but the love I had for them was much bigger than one day of doing something that was just not my cup of tea.
Recently someone very special to me said, “I hate wine but I know you love it, so I will go (wine tasting) with you.” Doesn’t seem like much to the outside world but it meant so much to me! Wine tasting is something I have always wanted to do but not necessarily with my friends, more so on a date *sigh* but of course all that I have encountered didn’t like wine…and had no thoughts of compromising so of course we never went…
No matter how big or small the compromise is, it’s the thought and willingness that matters..
Compromising is a healthy sacrifice that we should all take the time out to do… think about how much you could get out a relationship if you took the time out and enjoy (or grin and bear)what your significant other loves to do!
I’m not saying this is not an issue that all couples have, regardless of race, but I do feel we, as African-Americans, are less likely to compromise, for anything.. in our personal lives, work, etc and it may not be such a bad thing but sometimes we need to look at the bigger picture of things.
How do our actions in relationships affect situations in our every day lives? (to be continued…..)