Monthly Archives: September 2011

I am Troy Davis….


Last night at 11:08pm after a 3 hour and 30 min delay Troy Anthony Davis was put to death by lethal injection.

I watched the coverage from 7pm to 11:08…. I never changed the channel or left the room. I prayed… I kept it optimistic…I thought.. I wondered…During that time I just could not imagine being his sister… his friend.. or him. His physical fate laid in the hands of humans but through it all he kept his faith. Through it all he still believed. Through it all he kept his head up. Supporters of the death penalty even question whether this was the right thing to do.. TOO MUCH DOUBT and not enough answers.

My issue is that our justice system is flawed, not the color of his skin but we also have to be realistic! I know that nothing is perfect but to have students say “one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for ALL” and allow things like this to continue is crazy to me. When it comes to the justice system its about race and class. CNN reporter said in our justice system you are more likely to be executed for killing a White man vs.. any other race. I have been saying this from day one, if he was white living in a trailer park there is no doubt in my mind he wouldn’t be going through the same thing (Class). Its Blue vs.. White vs.. Black and Rich vs.. “Poor” when it comes to our system, remember Sean Bell??? I don’t want to make this about race because that’s NOT the bigger picture. (Lawrence Russel Brewer,8599,2094322,00.html was also executed yesterday but not it was talked about much).

This has been happening for years! And will continue to happen, there are thousands sitting on death row at this minute with their fate in the hands of a HUMAN not their maker. There are thousands sitting on death row because they weren’t heard. There are thousands sitting on death row for crimes they didn’t commit…. We need to give them a voice! A chance…. What if your ____________ was sitting on death row and to be executed tomorrow? What if you sent someone to death row but couldn’t prove they committed the crime? My question is: Is it about revenge or justice when it comes to the death penalty?

It seems more like revenge (with the death penalty in general), especially after hearing Officer Mark MacPhails mother talk last night and the reactions from the family “smiles and laughter” at 11:08 pm.I have not, thank the lord, had to go through what officer MacPhails family went through but I don’t think in any scenario is the best answer for “justice” the death penalty. Don’t give me “a killer is off the street” he’s been off the street for 20 years! What more can you ask for… you want to play his maker and that’s not right! An eye for an eye is not justice in my notebook.

My best friend said something good on twitter last night “The officers mom sounds insensitive but how many moms out there say everyday ‘if someone hurts my child I will kill them’…and “Lets be real how understanding or sensitive would you be if your child was gunned down raped ect…Be honest” Very true! And those are question many of us cant answer. Of course we would want that person punished, no doubt about that… but how far would you go in putting your “justice” in your hands and becoming his maker?

Now we fall back into race:

During a a twitter debate someone said “its too late… black people have no hope” when I read that… my heart dropped! How can you say that?? The thing is back during the civil rights era WE STUCK TOGETHER! And everyone saw that fight in us so they put drugs and guns in our neighborhoods and like an experiment watch(ed) us destroy each other. But on the contrary we took these things and put them to use… upon ourselves! We spend too much time hating one another than helping and growing. We are only concerned with ourselves which keeps us stuck! Like Harriet Tubman said “I freed a thousand slaves I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.” That quote is very evident in our thinking today! If you don’t see or realize something, how can you change it? Answer: You cant!

We don’t see how we are destroying one another. We don’t see how we have set limitations upon ourselves. We don’t see the hate we have amongst ourselves….Stop blaming everyone else and look at YOU! What can YOU do? How can YOU change? Then remember that YOU is really US! When you change.. you teach your kids… who teach their kids… and it WILL get done. No YOU personally may not see it but your blood will. Why would you want your kids to continue to walk down the path, we created, only to get worse? I am terrified to have a child because of the times that are ahead… I fear for my unborn child but I HAVE to take a stand, raise and teach them differently! You saying you don’t care about what’s going on and thinking you cant change is basically saying you could care less what happens to your kids…. they are up next!

Whether I followed the case for 20 years, which means I would have been 4, or if I just learned about it yesterday, which I didn’t, I have EVERY right to stand up and advocate for MY beliefs! I keep hearing “it was too late” “Yall didn’t know him” but my question is WHY does that matter? It does not matter when you start just make sure you finish! We place time limits on everything that though of “its too late” will keep you delayed. Its 2011 not 1943 there are so many other ways to get heard besides marching, so for someone to say that the only ones who truly care are those out marching and protesting baffles me. STOP using your twitter/facebook for finding hoes and use them as a tool! A voice! A positive outlet!

If you are a HUMAN you are Troy Davis. If you have been a victim to the system you are Troy Davis. If you are a Brother you are Troy Davis. If you are a Sister you are Troy Davis. If you are a Mother you are Troy Davis. If you are a father you are Troy Davis…..

Troy’s mother last wish was to see her son free… so we fought! Troy’s last wish was that we continue to fight… SO LETS NOT STOP!

If you don’t know about this case PLEASE go read it ( PLEASE and after you do… TAKE A STAND… whether it be a petition… a letter.. a protest…a trending topic.. let your VOICE and opinion be heard! Yes he is gone but there are so many others wearing his shoes!!! Remember violence is not the answer and for justice we have to remember that!

Read his letter:

I want to thank all of you for your efforts and dedication to Human Rights and Human Kindness, in the past year I have experienced such emotion, joy, sadness and never ending faith. It is because of all of you that I am alive today, as I look at my sister Martina I am marveled by the love she has for me and of course I worry about her and her health, but as she tells me she is the eldest and she will not back down from this fight to save my life and prove to the world that I am innocent of this terrible crime.
As I look at my mail from across the globe, from places I have never ever dreamed I would know about and people speaking languages and expressing cultures and religions I could only hope to one day see first hand. I am humbled by the emotion that fills my heart with overwhelming, overflowing Joy. I can’t even explain the insurgence of emotion I feel when I try to express the strength I draw from you all, it compounds my faith and it shows me yet again that this is not a case about the death penalty, this is not a case about Troy Davis, this is a case about Justice and the Human Spirit to see Justice prevail.

I cannot answer all of your letters but I do read them all, I cannot see you all but I can imagine your faces, I cannot hear you speak but your letters take me to the far reaches of the world, I cannot touch you physically but I feel your warmth everyday I exist.

So Thank you and remember I am in a place where execution can only destroy your physical form but because of my faith in God, my family and all of you I have been spiritually free for some time and no matter what happens in the days, weeks to come, this Movement to end the death penalty, to seek true justice, to expose a system that fails to protect the innocent must be accelerated. There are so many more Troy Davis’. This fight to end the death penalty is not won or lost through me but through our strength to move forward and save every innocent person in captivity around the globe. We need to dismantle this Unjust system city by city, state by state and country by country.

I can’t wait to Stand with you, no matter if that is in physical or spiritual form, I will one day be announcing,


Never Stop Fighting for Justice and We will Win!




Miss Universe 2011…..


25 year old Leila Lopes was crowned Miss Universe (Angola). Leila will be the first Angolan and fourth African woman to hold the title. She has hopes to help Angola escape a history of war and impoverishment and plans to focus on fighting HIV around the world.

Seeing this made me think back to A Brown Girl’s Tale, a time when I didn’t think I was [as] beautiful. This makes me so happy to see someone who looks like me on that stage. To see someone who speaks like my ancestors on that stage. She was asked if she could change a physical trait about herself, what would it be and why she responded:

“I’m very satisfied with the way God created me and I wouldn’t change a thing.”

I hope that all the young girls out there was watching this and realizing what she is saying! KNOW you are beautiful, you were created that way… dont let anyone tell you, you are would look better like this or you should try that… You are perfect just the way you are!


They are saying this is the answer that got her the “win”! Though I believe she truly feels this way about herself I think it will probably become a trend for next and future years pageants!

Shes a beautiful girl!


Strangers to Friends to Lovers to Strangers….

We lived two separate lives..Searching for something
We have had no clue.
It wasn’t until passing it made a little sense.
We talked all the time and found our commonalities.
We told each other secrets
Shared inside jokes and secret code words.
We Laughed all night at the silly things we’ve done, past and present.
Talked about our dreams and growing up
Then we kissed….
Our hearts touched …
And our bodies connected.
Our nights ended with each others sleepy breathing.
Our days didn’t start until start until a sweet “good morning”
We held hands in public, stared in each other’s eyes and kissed passionately for no reason.
Talked about OUR future….
Then we argued.
The long stares turned to eye rolls.
Passion turned to a quick satisfaction.
The need the… the want to be around each other suddenly seemed rushed and like a waste of time.
The connection fizzled.
The phone calls stopped.
Whenever we talked the awkward silence took over our words.
We are no longer comfortable with each other.
We are asking questions that we use to know the answers to .
We sit right next to one another and feel so alone.
We are now two people searching for something…
Something we had and…

Touring America OPI Fall 2011

Well since the weather is taking us there we might as well FALL right into the swing of things.. Summer is ending so its time to trade in those bright nail polishes for dark, deep and rich! Opi is my FAVORITE nail polish brand. From the names to the colors I love them! The Fall 2011 Collection is Touring America. Each color is inspired from a city and state I think that’s pretty cool! I would like to know where they found the inspiration for the colors, cities & names to coincide.

While the collection remains colorful it still has the fall feel to them because of how deep the colors are. See ladies, you can still keep your color but just tone down the brightness!


So far my favorite, by glance, is New York inspired “uh oh roll down the window”, a dark deep green from a far it could pass for a greenish grayish color. I cant wait to try these!!


A Brown Girl’s Tale….

A Brown Girl’s Tale….

Kelly Rowland covers the fall (2011) issue of Runway Magazine. In the magazine she shares her struggles growing up with her complexion.
“There’s so much peer pressure growing up, I had an identity crisis. I went to a predominantly white school and I was the only black girl. I can remember thinking: ‘I don’t want to be as dark as I am – I want to be a little fairer.’ I didn’t want to be me…Tina sat me in front of the mirror and said: ‘Girl, look at how pretty you are.’ She made me feel comfortable in my own skin.”

Though my schools weren’t predominately white I did struggle with my complexion. The crazy thing is no one ever called me ugly or made me feel otherwise as a child, it was just something I felt.

I remember not wanting to go out in the sun in fear that I would get a tan. I just didn’t want to get any darker. I had some kind of jealousy or envy towards my lighter friends and classmates. I found myself only being attracted to guys that were either light skin or Spanish. At times I felt out of place when I was with my mother and grandmother because they were lighter. I didn’t understand why I was so dark and they weren’t and I felt like everyone thought the same.

One day in school someone told me “dark skin girls remind me of hood rats.” When I heard that I didn’t not take it heart or believe it but I was hurt as to why someone would think or feel like that, especially because it was lighter friend. I did argue as to why that was a dumb thing tot think, and say, and how un-factual it was. I don’t think they understood the ignorance of their thinking, which is fine because I did not allow that it make matters worse…… (Maybe that was the beginning of my embrace? hmmm)

But like most things, places and things I outgrew those thoughts. I LOVE who I am. I love sunny days and the beach. It still seems crazy to me that I, who use it hate the summer because of the sun, actually goes to the beach to tan. I am in love with my chocolate sun kissed skin! I find nothing sexier than the many shades of dark skin.

I don’t understand what made me feel those ways I use to feel but knowing Kelly’s feelings I wonder if this something all dark skin females go through? Do we all struggle with being comfortable in our skin? Do we all wonder why… or wish we were?

As women we HAVE to embrace, love and cherish everything about us. We have so many beautiful things to be grateful about and appreciate about us. If you are struggling with you complexion, your curvy figure or thick hair…. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Embrace those things that make up who YOU are. YOU have to love yourself first and until you do no one or thing will make you happy. EVERY TIME you look in the mirror or pass your reflection say ” I am beautiful!” (yes I actually did this… but for another reason for another blog…lol) but it REALLY works! After a while it won’t be something you are just saying it will be something you know.

Stay Strong Beautiful Girl….. xoxoxo


I’ve always thought Kelly was gorgeous… she has a great personality too!

SmartWater’s delicious new face

Idris Elba, who recently celebrated his 39th birthday, will be the face of SmartWater for there Fall Campaign. According to USA Today the ads will run in issues of GQ, Essence, and Men’s Journal Magazine.

I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol and I love smart water so this makes me happy in so many ways 🙂



Figuring it out…

I wrote this about a year or 2 ago.. But I found it randomly… Good shit though! Lol

Maybe the problem lies within me. Maybe I have done something wrong to make things be this way! I don’t know what to say and if I knew what to say im not sure if I would know how execute the words…
When I step into things I try to give my all but my definition of all is never good enough for them..
I give too much of my heart and in the end that shit gets pulled out stepped on, stomped on and shitted on..
All I ask is for a little bit of honesty and if I don’t get what your saying ill ask “why?” but that questions seems to be a SAT question to most…
I ask why and you either can’t answer or you have to take time out to come up with one, maybe if I broke it down in multiple choice you would get it?
Yea im hurt I can admit that but now im asking myself “why?”..
Why be hurt over something that I told myself not to get too deep with?
Why be hurt over something that held back so much?
Why be hurt over something that I did not ask for?
Why be hurt over something that I KNEW would hurt me?
Is it my fault?
Always ending up in the same situations with the same kinds of people..
Not a relationship..
No but could’ve been
Something special?
Very much! It WAS very special.
For 2 years I did construction on myself…
To make me realize that im better off this way and im happy with it just being
And I am,
But of course
And just when I think I don’t give a fuck, something comes along
Something shows me something different..
But it scares me, like a child im starting over again
I feel..
Scared, nervous, anxious, needy, wanted, happy, excited..
Since the last one no one has had the ability to make me feel like I did.
But with all of these feelings I told myself,
Don’t get too close to something, something has hurt many and you won’t be an exception
Something reassured me that everything is ok, its not trying and wont hurt me..
But my gut says different..
Gut is usually right..
But the way im feeling is too good to just walk away, im going to TRUST that everything is everything…
This was a breath of fresh air..
It was different what has been happening to me…
The feeling is just…indescribable
I couldn’t put the words to it but the emotions could show it all..
Something pulls away…turns on me like an animal
Did something get scared?
Or was I getting too wrapped up in this?
But things are great..
And if it came down to it, would I give my all to something?
In a heartbeat…
Not at all..
Then something turns to nothing,
Im not feeling appreciated, wanted, or needed..
Instead now im confused && lost
The end has approached
But so quick?
Trying to figure it out…

For the Children

On my way to work I was listening to the radio and of course the latest in the rumor mill is that Will and Jada Smith are getting a divorce. I am still on the fence about my belief towards this but at first I thought it was just that… a rumor. However with this still being very evident in the Hollywood gossip news I’m starting to think (sadly) there may be some truth to it. Now the latest is they are trying to stay together for the children, so the radio asked a very good question: Do you think its healthy, or right, to stay together for the children? It seems that when gong through a divorce, especially when children are involved the adults seem to think its best for them to stay to cause less confusion in the children.

One thing about a relationship a child or children can not change what is or is not there. I have seen women have children to try to keep their marriages together, I have seen situations where the woman only kept the child if the man was willing to marry her and I have seen situations where because there is a child involved the couple tries to stick it out and unfortunately the product of those children are not the best. The self esteem seems to be low, the marriages seem to be distant, there is resentment in the kids toward their parent(s), and in some cases children are forced to grow up too fast and latch on the wrong people because they are not getting the attention they deserve.

I think couples look at children as a bond that can never be broken, which is true but if the only thing you two share in common is the child, when do they see you happy? What is healthy about hearing mom and dad argue when I’m trying to sleep? What is healthy about daddy/mommy always out with his/her friends? What is healthy about seeing my parents smile only when they are not in the presence of one another? What is healthy about hearing mommy/daddy complain about how unhappy they are to family and friends? People tend to forget kids are SMART! They know when their parents are hurt or when something is just not right. A child is ALWAYS listening.

Being a product of a single parent I think that it was the healthiest way for me to grow up. I have a great relationship with BOTH of my parents and they have a great friendship with each other. I have seen what it’s like when they argue or get tired of each other, just imagine if they would have stayed together for me, I would have witnessed the arguing and unhappiness on a daily bases which would have probably caused friction in all three of our relationships. It also would have effected my personal relationships as I got older. The most amazing thing about my parents is they have NEVER downed or talked about one another in my presence. My dad tells me how great my mother is and my mother tells me how wonderful my dad is, which is also important. Don’t talk down about the other parent in front of your child, no matter the age. I am 25 now and I would be HURT if I witnessed my parents doing that. Just because the love has faded does not mean that (s)he is not a good parent and you should force your child to feel the same as you feel about that person.

So to answer the question… NO I don’t think it’s healthy to hold on to a marriage (or relationship) for just the sake of the children. I think that’s a selfish act because you not looking at things from the children’s perspective. What’s wrong with sitting down and explain to the children? I know that at some ages it still doesn’t make sense to them but you keep explaining and explaining until they understand. Come to an agreement so the parenting styles and rules wont change. Just make sure equal time is spent and they see you happy and uplifting one another. Show them that just because mommy and daddy are not together anymore they still share a great friendship!

Rainy Tuesday

*deep sigh* so the rain made it damn near impossible for me to get out of bed this morning but I did… a little late but hey.. you know that old saying! lol. I feel great today just the million and one thoughts running through my head.. per the usual.

When its raining I just want to snuggle up, watch movies, and eat snacks! It seems to always rain when I have to go to work *thumbs down*.

It seems that summer just up and ran away sheesh what happened to transition? I LOVE the fall/winter fashion is better and the air is cleaner but I hate transition weather. That weather that you don’t know if its going to be hot or cold… if its ok to wear a sandal or a boot… short sleeve or a sweater= transition weather! But I think that’s where we are *sigh* Me being me I always wait until the time comes so now I am stuck between a rock and hard place because I need cute flats! I’m height restricted (aka short) so I need my pants hemmed… clearly I was not ready! Who knew that summer would just up and leave me like this… I thought we had 17 more days of this love affair but I guess not… So I guess I better get to it!

I hope everyone else was prepared because I was NOT! lol

Dear Love

Dear Love,

So many times you have walked out on me and made me feel like I was nothing. You yelled at me, made me feel low. You left me when I needed you the most. You spoke the most hurtful words to me, only for me to forgive you because of who you were. I cant count on two hands how many times I questioned your presence and doubted your existence. Love was not suppose to feel this way. Why would love make me shed so many tears? Why would make me lose sight of myself? Why didn’t love believe in me?

I hate you! No I dont… but I should. When is the last time you made me smile? I cant remember you telling me I was beautiful or wanted to take me out. You never appreciated me, you kept me a secret. Did I mean anything to you? Of course you said I did but you showed me opposite.

I want to apologize to you. For so long I thought it was you who was hurting me. I thought it was you who was mistreating me. I thought it was you wasn’t ready. I thought it was you who lied. It took some time but I realized it wasn’t you, it was those who didn’t know how to use you. The ones who never understood your language and the way you work. The ones who didn’t know your purpose.

How do I know this? Because I finally met you. In meeting you I understand that my heart is supposed to smile, not just my face. That the tears that I shed should come from happiness. That there is nothing that cant be accomplished in your presence.

I love you… and I can say that now and not have any fear in my heart…

– Heart