So many times you have walked out on me and made me feel like I was nothing. You yelled at me, made me feel low. You left me when I needed you the most. You spoke the most hurtful words to me, only for me to forgive you because of who you were. I cant count on two hands how many times I questioned your presence and doubted your existence. Love was not suppose to feel this way. Why would love make me shed so many tears? Why would make me lose sight of myself? Why didn’t love believe in me?
I hate you! No I dont… but I should. When is the last time you made me smile? I cant remember you telling me I was beautiful or wanted to take me out. You never appreciated me, you kept me a secret. Did I mean anything to you? Of course you said I did but you showed me opposite.
I want to apologize to you. For so long I thought it was you who was hurting me. I thought it was you who was mistreating me. I thought it was you wasn’t ready. I thought it was you who lied. It took some time but I realized it wasn’t you, it was those who didn’t know how to use you. The ones who never understood your language and the way you work. The ones who didn’t know your purpose.
How do I know this? Because I finally met you. In meeting you I understand that my heart is supposed to smile, not just my face. That the tears that I shed should come from happiness. That there is nothing that cant be accomplished in your presence.
I love you… and I can say that now and not have any fear in my heart…