A Brown Girl’s Tale….
Kelly Rowland covers the fall (2011) issue of Runway Magazine. In the magazine she shares her struggles growing up with her complexion.
“There’s so much peer pressure growing up, I had an identity crisis. I went to a predominantly white school and I was the only black girl. I can remember thinking: ‘I don’t want to be as dark as I am – I want to be a little fairer.’ I didn’t want to be me…Tina sat me in front of the mirror and said: ‘Girl, look at how pretty you are.’ She made me feel comfortable in my own skin.”
Though my schools weren’t predominately white I did struggle with my complexion. The crazy thing is no one ever called me ugly or made me feel otherwise as a child, it was just something I felt.
I remember not wanting to go out in the sun in fear that I would get a tan. I just didn’t want to get any darker. I had some kind of jealousy or envy towards my lighter friends and classmates. I found myself only being attracted to guys that were either light skin or Spanish. At times I felt out of place when I was with my mother and grandmother because they were lighter. I didn’t understand why I was so dark and they weren’t and I felt like everyone thought the same.
One day in school someone told me “dark skin girls remind me of hood rats.” When I heard that I didn’t not take it heart or believe it but I was hurt as to why someone would think or feel like that, especially because it was lighter friend. I did argue as to why that was a dumb thing tot think, and say, and how un-factual it was. I don’t think they understood the ignorance of their thinking, which is fine because I did not allow that it make matters worse…… (Maybe that was the beginning of my embrace? hmmm)
But like most things, places and things I outgrew those thoughts. I LOVE who I am. I love sunny days and the beach. It still seems crazy to me that I, who use it hate the summer because of the sun, actually goes to the beach to tan. I am in love with my chocolate sun kissed skin! I find nothing sexier than the many shades of dark skin.
I don’t understand what made me feel those ways I use to feel but knowing Kelly’s feelings I wonder if this something all dark skin females go through? Do we all struggle with being comfortable in our skin? Do we all wonder why… or wish we were?
As women we HAVE to embrace, love and cherish everything about us. We have so many beautiful things to be grateful about and appreciate about us. If you are struggling with you complexion, your curvy figure or thick hair…. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Embrace those things that make up who YOU are. YOU have to love yourself first and until you do no one or thing will make you happy. EVERY TIME you look in the mirror or pass your reflection say ” I am beautiful!” (yes I actually did this… but for another reason for another blog…lol) but it REALLY works! After a while it won’t be something you are just saying it will be something you know.
Stay Strong Beautiful Girl….. xoxoxo
I’ve always thought Kelly was gorgeous… she has a great personality too!